Tr Neptune square n Mars, exact hits in:may 2013
july 2013
february 2014
october 2014
december 2014
a very mixed bag. Partly I felt like being in a swamp, fatigue and the likes, and as if I was paralysed, not being able to do something (I have Mars-Neptune-conj. natally though, on the ASC, which gerts the square of Tr Neptune NOW)
in september 2014, I was suddenly having a period of dizziness and some weird panic attacks (I knew what they were though), nevertheless the dizzy period was very annoying. Nothing really serious, but annoying.
This dizziness-period started when Tr Neptune was exact square n Mars and Tr Mars was exact conjunct n Neptune. These transits double whammies are quite something!
I have experienced feelings of GREAT disillusion, yet confusion and as it turned out painting things blacker than they were, everything out of proportion.
Dark night of the soul, crubling of dreams, and in july 2013 with the second hit my paternal grandmother died (Mars rules my IC btw, also at that time pr Moon was conjunct pr DESC, squaring natal Pluto with Tr Pluto opposite my pr Moon and on my pr ASC - so there was more going on).
Anyway, I picked up my dreams from the floor, had a hard look at them, evaluating them for "what they were" (which you can never sure about with Mars-Neptune anyway), adjusted, modified, moved on with an adjusted perspective on things.
And then after having demoted myself, and being finding a place of calm inside, in the notion that I had apparently dreamed up things and was getting realistic (sure involving a guy, right?) and was kinda okay with it.
And well then in the second half of 2014 (right in between the exact hits of Mars-Neptune) had to realize AGAIN that I had been deluding myself, this time deluded myself in that I was NOT leaving any impact, and had to readjust my perspective again, realizing that things are not always black and white (is it any wonder I started feeling dizzy? lol).
Still too much muddling, too much confusion, too much fogginess, but I started just accepting these, and not waiting around for others to communicate more clearly but actually started to clear up things myself.
In the midst of all that confusion and fogginess, which is very close to my natal makeup actually, I can be so vague and subtle and nonverbal, but in the midst of it all, I became surprisingly sober, pragmatic and almost Saturnian. LOL
Maybe to get things in balance again.
Things are still too vague and nebulous, but I stopped caring too much about it. It is what it is, even though I have no clue what it is, savvy?
And then on the professional and personal level I was VERY effective, for once in losing weight, but also an overhaul of my personal presentation. Colleagues sometimes remark on my change in personality, how much more open and direct I am (so totally not Neptunian I guess. lol).
AT the same time during all the time i was under enormous stress on the worklevel, just in that there was so much to do, and the need to "perform well" under not so ideal circumstances, examinations, supervsisions of the whole school from the government, we had to prepare public exams as well, and we did remarkably well. I have no clue HOW we did it, or where the energy came from!
And I was succeeding in getting that promotion at the literally last moment possible, due to the medical examination (of course based on my weightloss).
So despite it all it was a successfull period for me, something I did not think would come about with Mars-Neptune. lol
Oh yes, and I got pushed into an additional role and function as "bridging element" for establishing a cooperation between our school and certain local theatres here. Which let`s face it, is VERY Neptunian thing. lol